I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
