i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
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he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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