I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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