summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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