just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My Sexting was not on an AP level
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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