Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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