I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
