Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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