well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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