Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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