I want to make a zoo with you.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
