can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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