I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
