Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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