I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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