if only i could text you this smell
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
