I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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