there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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