He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
