My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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