I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Still dying that you shit outside
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
