apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
