You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
