D3 body, D1 cock
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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