I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
