He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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