best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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