Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
