when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Fuck appropriateness.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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