Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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