The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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