3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
