Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
