k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You were trust falling into bushes
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
