I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize