You just made me feel so damn special
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
