Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
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By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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