You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
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at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
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We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.