Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher. http://tfl.nu/pfmp
  Replies (132) Good night (8563) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them

  (514): View more from Quebec

  the remaining ten - you weren't in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them (514): the remaining ten - you weren't in http://tfl.nu/19lj
  Replies (32) Good night (5005) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do http://tfl.nu/ke2v
  Replies (19) Good night (5012) Bad night (1380)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree. http://tfl.nu/fej1
  Replies (15) Good night (3411) Bad night (1401)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties. http://tfl.nu/hv8c
  Replies (6) Good night (2969) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/exx8
  Replies (11) Good night (3016) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (637): View more from

  I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (637): I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night http://tfl.nu/nv4l
  Replies (0) Good night (1252) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today? http://tfl.nu/v6y2
  Replies (7) Good night (1597) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun (262): Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating http://tfl.nu/mni7
  Replies (9) Good night (2013) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent. http://tfl.nu/patp
  Replies (2) Good night (980) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha http://tfl.nu/gfdl
  Replies (5) Good night (647) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know. (440): Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl. http://tfl.nu/hazv
  Replies (2) Good night (2223) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week. http://tfl.nu/gko2
  Replies (6) Good night (883) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream. http://tfl.nu/75x9
  Replies (3) Good night (1071) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day. http://tfl.nu/pwtj
  Replies (0) Good night (285) Bad night (431)

Randomize