And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
