There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
