Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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