the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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