But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
