dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
