just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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