The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
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I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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