I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
