this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
