then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize