dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't deserve a penis
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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