glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
