I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize