i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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