i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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