Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(915): View more from Texas

After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?

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(804): View more from Virginia

The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.

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(718): View more from New York

He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?

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(905): View more from Ontario

I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.

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(406): View more from Montana

I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this

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(801): View more from Utah

You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.

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(785): View more from Kansas

He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???

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