"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize