Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes

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  (407): I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes http://tfl.nu/atny
  Replies (1) Good night (800) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"

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  (314): this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy" http://tfl.nu/dlxe
  Replies (40) Good night (1913) Bad night (3911)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.

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  (910): is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise. http://tfl.nu/ewvs
  Replies (40) Good night (2212) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.

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  (661): Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it. http://tfl.nu/dbb6
  Replies (18) Good night (1306) Bad night (3711)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.

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  (609): Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares. http://tfl.nu/trym
  Replies (37) Good night (5261) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  It was like little house on the drunk prairie.

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  (956): It was like little house on the drunk prairie. http://tfl.nu/6z1y
  Replies (3) Good night (3479) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.

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  (307): mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her. http://tfl.nu/aq8k
  Replies (11) Good night (6642) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...

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  (519): I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling... http://tfl.nu/p0v8
  Replies (15) Good night (5918) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.

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  (919): We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad. http://tfl.nu/rfuh
  Replies (25) Good night (2391) Bad night (6404)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

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  (902): Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands. http://tfl.nu/svno
  Replies (16) Good night (3460) Bad night (1475)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.

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  (951): It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle. http://tfl.nu/s5be
  Replies (15) Good night (1046) Bad night (3739)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"

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  (412): It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion" http://tfl.nu/m0wm
  Replies (8) Good night (674) Bad night (1796)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.

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  (920): Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees. http://tfl.nu/3c2q
  Replies (8) Good night (1435) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (628): View more from California

  Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.

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  (628): Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes. http://tfl.nu/sfav
  Replies (4) Good night (1031) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.

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  (314): I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done. http://tfl.nu/w2o8
  Replies (0) Good night (911) Bad night (302)

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