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• (616): View more from Michigan

  GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?

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• (858): View more from California

  you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?

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• (450): View more from Quebec

  I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?

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• (305): View more from Florida

  It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (956): View more from Texas

  So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.

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