I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
