Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
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Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
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Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.