the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.