He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.