super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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