JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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