What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I wear drunk well.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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