never play flip cup with pint glasses
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
