There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
