Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
