I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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