i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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