I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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